It was spent with my new friend Asiya and her friend who just flew in, piled together on a bed, watching "The Letter Writer" on an ipad mini. (Eating chocolate! Thanks Asiya ;) )
I like when movies becomes something special to do, not an all night every day happening.
Christopher was on my mind a lot today. I forget how long of a path some things are. I get down on myself for not progressing quicker or healing faster. Luckily, my teacher, Clinton, would remind me that some things take a whole lifetime. I have a lot of grief (from many situations, old and recent) that I realized might take a very long time to ease and that is okay. I at least say 'yes' to dealing with it.
I'm moving to a farm in Ban Bon Doi. Here is the link, if you are really that interested:
http://helpx.net/host.asp?hostid=21475
To say the least, I'm nervous. I don't really know what to expect but I know that it will be perfect in its own way. It's always scary to step out into unknown territory, even for a "brave" person. I think being brave is being scared (even the "I'm definitely going to pee my pants" scared) and just doing it anyway.. shakiness, tears, and all. I'm okay with not being graceful about everything, I think that is a load of crock anyway.
But I'm also very excited to start doing some work!
I love all of you very much and appreciate the continued support and kind words I receive. It truly means the world to me to feel soo much love from so many beautiful people. Thank you thank you thank you. I wrote this last night in my journal and it feels right to share:
"I truly believe life should be lived in an uncomfortable manner. Covered in bug bites, sweating, tasting the new nectar of a foreign language.
I think it is important to be away for a while, periodically, from the people you love the most. Not just to realize your love for them but how much you are loved.
I don't believe in petty games between crushes or people you like.
I believe in getting to the heart of things as quickly as you can manage that day, in every person, situation, and relationship.
Music can be a bridge.
Food too.
I believe in being whole-heartedly you for every moment of the day, knowing YOU won't be the same all the time. Change is perfect.
Authenticity, honesty, integrity, faith, kindness, independence, dependency on the Divine, and laughter are all very important to me.
Sat nam."
To a new paragraph in this chapter,
Jeni Peni
(the first shot I saw when my mom facetimed me hahaha)
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