and weird.
Adjusting and integrating has been extremely difficult. It took almost a week to come out of the shock from being back and the jet lag too.
I get easily people overwhelmed, place overwhelmed, American food overwhelmed, story overwhelmed and emotionally overwhelemed but just trying to flow with it.
Not really wanting to be back doesn't mean I don't love and cherish everyone here and I feel I have to reitarate that. I am happy to see everyone and adore all of you AND I feel extremely loved and valued here.
Just be patient with me.
I'm a little up in the ethers and allowing myself to be there for now.
And choosing to express myself authentically and it might not be what people want to hear.
I don't really have a home or maybe it is just that I have many homes and that is not how I normally am. I'm called a "free spirit gypsy soul", when really, I would love to just have a cozy house. But that is exactly why I HAVE to do what I am doing now and to keep pushing my boundaries and expanding, I refuse to live a comfortable, bubble life.
I'll be in Salt Lake, Oregon, Nebraska, Utah again, and then Colorado for the rest of my time in the states.
If you didn't know,
I'm going back to Thailand!!
one big reason
I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE
I've never been in a long distance relationship before and now I have one literally halfway across the world. Neither of us ever pictured being in this space but...here we are! We're choosing to love bravely, maybe even silly, and following our hearts. As cheesy and cliche as it sounds, I've never felt this way before and I am blown away by the amount of love he shows me and all of the mushy gushyness that I am enjoying... we write each other poems, letters, express love through drawings, ridiculous amounts of laughter, tried and failed attempts at telepathic communications
and it is wonderful!
We're just letting this journey take us where it will and experiencing being away from each other but we reaaaallllyyyy look forward to seeing each other again.
I'm trying to stay as present as possible but also being gentle with myself.
Well,
that's where I am.
Thanks for being patient with me, everybody, and supportive of my decision to leave again. Thank you for all of the love that I so strongly feel!
Weirdly here and there,
Jeni Peni
